Hate is such a strong word...I know. But that's the only word I can use to describe how I feel towards my dad. I've already gone through the "dislike" stage and it has progressed into hate. What does hate feel like? Hate is feeling disgust every time you look at someone, thinking that every little thing that someone does is disgusting, and wanting that person dead because he's just a waste of space and air. I've never wanted anyone dead. I've disliked people with great passion before, but never was it this bad.
My dad struts around the house like he is THE SHIT because he's the oldest male in the house. Korean people traditionally give great respect to the oldest male (even though they probably don't really deserve it) just because of what they were born with...a penis. All he does is come home from work and watch korean dramas on his laptop. On the weekends, he might mow the lawn and/or take the trash to the dump, but that's practically all he does. He gets mad if he's not fed in time like a little kid. It's not like my dad is handicapped; he has both of his feet and both of his hands, so I don't know why it's so hard for him to get off his lazy ass and get some food for himself. He complains about us going out to buy food instead of making food for ourselves, but at least we can feed ourselves. I've never seen another 50-year-old male being (I can hardly call him a man) not being able to feed himself. He said today that it's our responsibility to do the dishes after eating and that we NEVER do the dishes. Umm, excuse me, but if you spend all your time in front of the computer, how do you EVER know what the rest of the family is doing? Yeah, my siblings and I do the dishes late at night, but it doesn't mean that we don't do it. We actually get shit done. He also said we're getting more and more pathetic. I'm sorry, but for a guy who couldn't even complete seventh grade, he doesn't have any right to call anyone pathetic. He is the definition of someone who is pathetic. He's been in this country for more than 10 years and yet he can't even speak a proper sentence of English (and engrish doesn't count). I mean, I don't care if he has an accent, but please, can't he learn enough english so that he can stop smiling so stupidly every time someone asks him a question in english? I guess that doesn't run through his brain at all because to him he's the perfect being while everyone else has faults. He's not wasting time watching stupid tv shows all day but we're wasting time if we're trying to watch some tv show that's at least worth watching.
And then the money problem. Ah, the green pieces of paper that dictates power in this world. Apparently we're wasting money by eating out like two times a week, when he smokes cigarettes every single day and drinks every week. Of course, he's not wasting money! A couple cases of cigarettes versus a hamburger? No way! Cigarettes and alcohol are worth spending money for! Whatever. The asshole can't even appreciate the fact that my sinblings and I are basically going to school for free by earning scholarships and grants. Yep. We earned what he earns annually with a scholarships. He doesn't understand that my family would've been in deep shit if we didn't have these scholarships, and he dares to compare us to our "highly accomplished" cousins *coughsoyicough*?
The least thing he could do if he's too stupid to do anything else is be a good dad. But that's not possible for him either. He's just a perverted, useless, stupid, worthless, piece of shit that's just a waste of space on this earth. Normally, a dad congratulates his children when they graduate from high school. What did my dad do at my graduation? SLEEP during the ceremony and get bitchy because the walking distance was too far. It's no wonder he wasn't invited to my brother's graduation. I wish I would've thought of that. I know it's really mean to want someone dead, but I want this guy dead. I can't believe he hasn't gotten a heart attack yet with all the shit he does to his body. I wish he would get cancer or some other deadly disease and die...QUICKLY.
If he doesn't die soon, I'm sure that I'll get so sick of him that I'll just kill myself off because I'm tired of dealing with his shit.
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